I always want to be authentic and raw and post exactly what God is placing on my heart but with this, I have been wrestling for days about what God is leading me to.
God has placed on my heart to share an entry from my personal daily journal, my letters to God. This is such a scary position to be in. So, after much deliberation and behind-the-scenes conversations (arguing) with God, I am being obedient.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for another morning. Thank you for another opportunity to show your love to others. Father, as I sit and admire your amazing creation and lift my family and friends in prayer, I feel the ever-so-subtle reminder you are placing on my heart about the change, growth, and healing that has been happening in me over the last few days.
The realization that bad things happen, and they sometimes happen to us but really have nothing to do with us. Confusing? YES! I understand now that you can be the object that receives someone else’s brokenness but that does not mean that you are broken. You can be collateral damage from someone else’s actions but trying to answer the why and trying to figure out what you may have done to cause their behavior is futile.
(Ever so softly, the Holy Spirit reminds me)
You did NOTHING! The answer is to stop asking the why and begin healing from what was done to you NOT to focus on the why it was done. Satan wants you to focus on the why. Satan wants you to search for answers. Answers that will never come because they are not important. What is important is the NOW. Searching for answers to questions that should never have been asked just robs you of the future I have set aside just for you. The gift that is just waiting to be opened. You could have done nothing to change what happened.
Father, I cannot answer why you love me and give me grace. I only need to receive that love and grace and follow you.
Thank you, God, for freeing me from a lifetime of searching for the why.
It may be confusing, but for me, journaling is an open conversation with God.
I feel that this post is meant to accomplish two things. One is to help anyone that is stuck in the “asking why” phase of healing, and second to show the value of frequent, vulnerable, open conversations with our Lord and Savior. Whatever that may look like to you.
Thank you for taking this journey with me.
God Bless. Rho
