I want to begin by saying, I love being surprised by God. I love that He is always with me and patiently waiting for me to open my heart and mind to understand how His word is continually guiding me through my struggles even when I put up walls around HIS truth.
My life has been the proverbial “dumpster fire” over the last few months and I have been drowning in a tsunami of feelings. Most days just keeping my head above water has been a struggle.
Let me explain. I grew up in a broken home, in most families, broken or not, if you lied there was punishment. I did not like getting punished. Spankings hurt and I did not like getting hurt. Getting yelled at was worse. And I am a terrible liar, so I try not to do it.
Earlier this year, by a weird twist of fate, it brought to light that the people who were so unyielding about receiving the truth had been living a lie.
This realization has me sorting through years of betrayal, deeply rooted lies that I was unaware of surrounded my whole life. Lies that have rocked the very foundation of who I am. Questioning if there was ever a part of my young life that was based on truth is hard. It makes every memory feel artificial and one big lie.
Through what seems like hours upon hours of tears, doubt, anger, and questioning my very existence. The Lord has once again brought me to a place of reevaluating relationships. Relationships that are clearly toxic one-sided task orientated relationships.
I have been dealing with toxic people for a long time. Feeling that if I just gave more things would change. Thinking that God has placed me in this situation for a reason and I should not give up. But these relationships have allowed people to take and take leaving me empty, exhausted, and dejected. I know that is NOT how God desires me to be or to feel. Yet, I continue to engage in these negative relationships for fear of displeasing people, and more so displeasing God.
What do I do now? I know these relationships are draining me mentally, emotionally and they are hindering my obedience to the call that God has placed on my life.
Once again, while writing out my thoughts and prayers the Holy Spirit prompts me “knock the dust from your sandals and move on.” What? What do you mean? Knock the dust off my sandals and move on. My next step was turning to scriptures. I use the trusty Google and type in exactly what Holy Spirit prompted me to write, and it led me here.
Not word for word, but it comes from Matthew 10:14, where Jesus says, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town.” Jesus was giving the disciples permission to leave when their message of the kingdom was not welcomed or being heard. Jesus did not want his disciples to waste their time and energy on those who were not receptive to the Gospel message.
Shaking the dust off your feet symbolizes separation and moving on. In the context of relationships, it can be looked at as a way of freeing yourself from the negative impact and influence from someone who is resistant to positive change.
If you are considering shaking the dust off your feet, please consider these things moving forward.
Forgive. It is imperative to forgive those that have hurt you. Forgiveness does not mean you do not set up boundaries or separate yourself from the relationship. Forgiveness protects your spiritual health. It takes away the enemy’s ability to use this situation against you.
Pray. Take the time to prayerfully decern if the relationship is truly toxic or just going through changes and temporary difficulty.
Focus on God. Seek wisdom and direction from God through prayer and seek counsel from those you trust and are in alignment with the Word.
These steps are crucial in making changes in your life, not just regarding relationships but in every decision, you may be facing.
I joyfully receive this word from the Holy Spirit, and by applying the principles of Matthew 10:14, Jesus is releasing me from these toxic relationships. Through this release, I can invest myself in relationships that support my growth and well-being. Allowing me to step boldly with obedience into the plan and purpose God has for my life.
It is scary to think about the process of setting boundaries, pulling back, and completely removing people from my world. I love people and never want to intentionally hurt anyone. I understand the direction that the Lord is leading, and I am fully aware that if I am not in a healthy spiritual place, it will be impossible for me to step into His plan and purpose for my life. I am ready to be the person I have always wanted to be.
Heavenly Father, your servant, is here and is listening.
I hope this has spoken to you. Know you are not alone. I am here.
God Bless.
Your Friend, Rho
