Thirteen years ago, we were blessed with an amazing gift. With the help of my parents, we were able to purchase a home at the astonishing price of 129,900.00 which left us with a house payment of $740 a month.
It was a very modest 1968 ranch home, 1300 square feet, three bedrooms, 1.75 bath. It needed cosmetic work, carpet, and paint, but nothing major. It was located across the street from my parents, which was perfect to be able to help them as they are aging and needing assistance quite often.
I was happy. I was so thankful for the amazing gift. I felt no stress or anxiety over meeting our monthly obligations and we now, finally, would have the ability to save for the future.
At this time, we were involved serving in our church and had a fantastic community of friends. We would go to gatherings at different houses, and I was in awe of the beautiful, spacious homes that seemed everyone had, except me.
I began to feel ashamed of my home. I did not want to host anything as I was embarrassed and did not feel it measured up.
I was no longer thankful for the blessing but consumed with how to change it. As soon as we could we refinanced and pulled out money to do a substantial remodel and saw a substantial increase in our mortgage payment.
We did the work ourselves, with help from friends and family, so we had quite an adventure, and the house did turn our great. It was still small, but now it was “worthy” of hosting church activities.
There we were with an “acceptable” home but a house payment that was now $1540 a month.
In today’s market that is still a very reasonable house payment, however, because of my sin in “coveting” we now have a mortgage payment twice that.
Let me explain. After the remodel was complete and we enjoyed the space for a short couple of years, our church went through a major break, and my husband got diagnosed with a rare blood cancer. To make a long story short, his diagnosis led us to move to a new state. He receives better care, and the weather is much better in reducing one very troubling symptom.
So how does this relate to my sin of coveting?
As people of faith, we know that God is in control of everything. He knows what is coming and He prepares a way for us. God knew that we would be facing a cancer diagnosis, so he provided my husband with a job that is amazing and has great benefits and allows us to live wherever. He also knew we would need to move to help with the diagnosis, so in my heart I know he provided us with a home and a price that when the time came we would see an increase in value and be able to sell at a price that would give us enough to put down on our new home that would not affect the size of our payment. If I had been happy with my home and not borrowed money to remodel, when we sold it, we would have walked away with $400,000 cash versus the $54,000 that we ended up with. That $400,000 would have enabled us to make our move, put down $350,000 on our current home and our monthly payment would be approximately $800 on a 15-year mortgage allowing us to still have it paid off before retirement and have a much easier payment to manage while living with a terminal condition.
When I think about the sin of coveting, I never really considered the long-term consequences when we give into that sin and mess with God’s perfect plan for our future.
I am grateful for all that God has done in our life. I know that God does not want me to struggle with forgiving myself, as I know he has forgiven me, but I do struggle. The enemy is so quick to be right there reminding me of my past mistakes and what life could be like if only.
Let us take the time each morning and remind ourselves to keep our eyes forward, not looking back. If we were meant to look back, we would have our eyes in the back of our heads.
God has your back, and he is in control of your future. Spend time with him daily and strengthen yourself for the battles that will come your way.
Hebrews 13:5 says, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’“.
He knows your future and is preparing a way perfectly designed for you. Be ever thankful for every moment of every day. Each experience is an opportunity to not only share God’s love and compassion but to experience God’s love and compassion.
